HONOURING GOD

Haggai chapter 1 (New Living Translation)
On August 29 of the 2nd year of King Darius’s reign, the Lord gave a message through the prophet Haggai to Zerubbabel son of Shealtiel, governor of Judah, and to Jeshua son of Jehozadak, the high priest.
This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies says: The people are saying, ‘The time has not yet come to rebuild the house of the Lord.’
Then the Lord sent this message through the prophet Haggai: “Why are you living in luxurious houses while my house lies in ruins? This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies says: Look at what’s happening to you!
You have planted much but harvest little.
You eat but are not satisfied.
You drink but are still thirsty.
You put on clothes but cannot keep warm.
Your wages disappear as though you were putting them in pockets filled with holes!
This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies says: Look at what’s happening to you! Now go up into the hills, bring down timber, and rebuild my house. Then I will take pleasure in it and be honored, says the Lord.
You hoped for rich harvests, but they were poor. And when you brought your harvest home, I blew it away. Why?
Because my house lies in ruins, says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, while all of you are busy building your own fine houses. It’s because of you that the heavens withhold the dew and the earth produces no crops. I have called for a drought on your fields and hills—a drought to wither the grain and grapes and olive trees and all your other crops, a drought to starve you and your livestock and to ruin everything you have worked so hard to get.
This scripture uncannily describes my life to date; my financial situation. I work so hard and still don’t have much to show for it. I am so intelligent, consistently top of any class I’m in and yet I do not see the effect of that intelligence in my status in life. I’m constantly trying to keep up, measure up, try harder and yet, I’m so far off my peers and I wonder why life is so unfair…
On one hand, I am dumbfounded by what I read in Haggai, but clear headed on the other. My first question was ‘Lord why would YOU be the one blowing away my harvest? Why would YOU call a drought to ruin everything I have worked so hard to get?’
It’s hard for me to understand that my present situation is orchestrated by God and not by the demons I keep binding daily nor by my failure to prophesy riches and wealth into my life.
On the other hand, I realize that in deciding to follow after the Lord, I walk a different pathway and I'm measured by a different yardstick. My measure demands that I honour Him and for Him honour involves complete worship; the singing and raising up of holy hands, the praying, the bible study, the fellowship and yes, the giving to Him the first fruits of my labour. See how He says it in verse 8 ‘Now go up into the hills, bring down timber, and rebuild my house. Then I will take pleasure in it and be honored, says the Lord.
I’m wondering why God has not been honoured so far in my giving for yes, I think I have been giving and yet He blew my harvest away. Where is the disconnect?
In Malachi 1 verses 6 – 14 (please read the entire scripture, for I present fragments of it here), God reiterates the importance of His honour relative to our giving, but much more than giving, for He is not in need of anything, He seeks a giver who puts Him first above and beyond their personal needs.
‘a son honours his father and a servant his master. If I am a father, where is the honour due me? If I am a master where is the respect due me? Says the Lord Almighty…
You place defiled food on my altar. When you bring blind animals for sacrifice is that not wrong? When you sacrifice crippled or diseased animals is that not wrong? Try offering them to your governor! Would he be pleased with you? Would he accept you?
How often these days do we give God the dregs of our lives and our substances. Often, when we are spent, we look for that which no one wants and give the reject to the Lord. That’s the crippled and blind animal. We dishonor God in our hearts even before we bring the offering, for if we honoured Him or had any regard for Him, we would give to Him first. That’s the honour God seeks. He wants to be first – the priority in our service, our worship and our substance.
In verse 14 he says ‘cursed is the cheat who has an acceptable male in His flock and vows to give it but then sacrifices a blemished animal to the Lord. For I am a great King says the Lord Almighty and my name is to be feared among the nations…
How many times have we made vows to the Lord and suspend those vows when our needs press on us? And yes our needs are important no doubt – we need to pay rent, school fees, medical bills, new clothes, a holiday abroad, jewelry, invest in businesses, stock markets, treasury bills and bonds. These and more are all legitimate human needs; still God seeks to be first. How can we continue living in luxurious houses, upgrading our lives while God’s house and indeed his business take a back seat? If only we would receive the revelation, the courage to put Him first, to go up into the hills, bring down timber, and rebuild His house so that He may take pleasure in it and be honored, then we will see how He blesses and provides for us in every way.
Then we will plant and harvest bountifully.
We will eat and be satisfied.
We will drink and quench our thirst.
We will put on clothes and find warmth in them.
Our wages will no longer disappear and everything we work for He will multiply.

Just Honour God.

THE LORD'S TROUBLES

Before I got saved, I heard about the love of God. I heard how He loved us so much; He gave His only son as a sacrifice for our sins. I heard how great that love was such that if I was the only sinner on earth, He would still have sent His son to die in my place. I heard that if I asked anything in His name, He would give me and if I sinned at anytime, He would be faithful and just to forgive my sins. This is all true. I know more than most the abundance of God’s love, His tender mercies, His compassion and faithfulness.

But after he has wooed you (and me) and groomed you (and me), then what? Would I continue to sin so that grace would continue to abound? Would I continue to ask and receive and never give anything back?

And then as I got to know Him better, I started to face challenges, struggles and unanswered prayers. That was when I read about the Lord’s trouble. Do you remember the story of the exodus of God’s children from Egypt to the Promised Land? Did you read Exodus chapter 5? Did you see that even after Moses had obeyed God and relayed His message to Pharaoh, the children of Israel were subjected to more hardship rather than the deliverance they had cried to Him for. This is what Moses said to the Lord in verses 22 & 23: Lord why have you brought trouble on this people? Why is it you have sent me? For since I came to Pharaoh to speak in your name, he has done evil to this people; neither have you delivered your people at all!!!

Before Moses spoke to Pharaoh, the children of Israel were crying under great hardship and bondage. They were calling to God for deliverance. After Moses spoke to Pharaoh, the children of Israel faced even tougher times. More hardship and I guess, they cried more, but eventually the deliverance came. If it was deliverance they wanted and cried to God for why then did they have to pass through more hardship to get there?

Did you read Paul’s own story? Read 2 Corinthians 11 verses 23 – 27: Are they servants of Christ? I know I sound like a madman, but I have served him far more! I have worked harder, been put in prison more often, been whipped times without number, and faced death again and again. Five different times the Jewish leaders gave me thirty-nine lashes. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked. Once I spent a whole night and a day adrift at sea. I have travelled on many long journeys. I have faced danger from rivers and from robbers. I have faced danger from my own people, the Jews, as well as from the Gentiles. I have faced danger in the cities, in the deserts, and on the seas. And I have faced danger from men who claim to be believers but are not. I have worked hard and long, enduring many sleepless nights. I have been hungry and thirsty and have often gone without food. I have shivered in the cold, without enough clothing to keep me warm.

Trust me, Paul the learned fellow before he met Jesus Christ did not go through any of this. But what keeps him going? The knowledge that we have this treasure in earthen vessels that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us.

This is just a part of the big picture and I am privileged to play a part in it. I try to look beyond my selfishness and see that it’s all about Him for He must display His glory and that glory must cover the earth as the waters cover the sea. If He chooses to use me in anyway, to display that glory, then I am truly honoured, and only then - truly alive.

Like Paul, I’m learning to say: We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed.

Life continues to be a battle-ground, but the Lord’s troubles bring victory. Ask the children of Israel. Pharaoh let them go! He chased them out bearing the riches of his land.

ID Ogufere, March 2010

MY TRIBUTE TO TAYO ADERINOKUN

I met Tayo Aderinokun for the very first time in January 1995. I was in a borrowed cream linen suit waiting to be interviewed by Guaranty Trust Bank’s Deputy Managing Director. In preparing for the interview, I tried to find all I could about the bank, about its founders and hoped I would do well enough to get the job. When I eventually got a chance to meet him, he was a mere mortal; his voice was quiet and tinged with a softness that belied his authority, position and strength of character. He only asked one question which to this day I’m not sure I answered satisfactorily, but I got the job and was posted to their Port Harcourt branch.
Working in Port Harcourt did not afford me the opportunity to interact with the executive management on a day to day basis, but the bank was small at the time and we all knew and interacted with one another via carefully orchestrated meetings and get-togethers. I vividly remember one time Tayo (Uncle T) as we all called him came to visit the Port Harcourt office. I was quite busy that day running around more than usual perhaps to impress upon him what a good hardworking staff I was. Surprisingly, at some point he came over to my desk to ask if I ever took a break. We got talking and discovered a shared love for books which led to a firm enduring friendship.
Thereafter, whenever I was in the Lagos office, I would visit his office and leave with an armload of books on all topics. After seeing his library, I formed the habit of buying books for myself as well. Our interests covered a wide range of topics from poetry to drama, politics and history. Nothing was left out, if it was printed we wanted to read it.
As I got to know him better, I discovered that Uncle T loved chocolates but alas that was a passion I did not share. Whenever I thought of sending him a gift to say thank you for the kindness he often shared, a box of chocolates always came in handy.
I learnt many things from Uncle T; I learnt to read, to write and to appreciate art and literature. I learnt to be myself and be comfortable in my own skin – Uncle T didn’t think twice about settling down to eat ‘boli and groundnut’ if that was what he felt like eating. It didn’t matter that the bank had quadrupled in size, he was so comfortable being himself.
I learnt from him what it meant to be a faithful friend; when I took my problems to him, he didn’t mince words telling me where I had gone wrong or hold back on scolding, but that done he always put out his resources to help in any way he could. At some point, I thought I was some special person and the only recipient of Tayo’s kindness, but it didn’t take long to realize that Uncle T had so many special people, his knack for making each one of us feel we were the only ones was just his brand.
I learnt to be thorough in doing my work and to be organized, ensuring each day that I left my desk clean. I didn’t want him to hear negative reports about me and my escapades in Port Harcourt and even if he did, I wanted him to see that I had done my best.
He was my mentor in many ways; teaching and constantly encouraging me to do the very best I could. His methods were not always appreciated but his intentions were always good. He was my brother; beyond work he got to know my husband and children, noting and celebrating each new addition to the family. He was my friend; sometimes just for laughs we would sit through his ribald jokes and share ours as well.
Today, I celebrate the privilege of meeting him and the gift of knowing him and being a part of his world.
Tayo, adieu. We miss you.

MY EARLY MORNING ENCOUNTER

A few days back, I asked participants at a training programme to appraise each other on certain variables, one of which was Integrity. This process elicited an argument which we debated for a few minutes and thereafter got me thinking. Some people felt that Integrity could not be put on a spectrum of 1 to 10; they argue that you either had it or didn’t which meant you scored 10 or zero. The other camp felt that Integrity of an individual or institution could be measured year on year, for instance you could score 6 this year and hopefully next year get better and score 8. Which do you think is right?
What exactly is Integrity? Simply put, the dictionary defines it as honesty. Going further, Wikipedia says “The word integrity stems from the Latin adjective ‘integer’ which means whole or complete. In this context, integrity is an inner sense of wholeness deriving from qualities such as honesty and consistency of character. As such one may judge that others have integrity to the extent that they act according to the values, beliefs and principles they claim to hold.”
So judge yourself. Do you have integrity? Is it a zero or a 10 or would you rate yourself a 4, 5 or 6 in the hope of increasing it to 7 next year?
I’m sitting here this morning with a man called Jephthah. I had heard of him several times in the past but we met this morning at Judges 11. Jephthah is an extremely interesting and very rugged man. He has such a colourful and dramatic past, the kind of which soap operas are made of. Definitely not the kind of man that on face value you would appraise a 10 on integrity or even a 7 or 5, but his story surprised me.
He told me that he was born by a harlot to Gilead and because of his bastardry; his brothers threw him out of their father’s house saying ‘you have no portion in our father’s house’. When he left his father’s house he became, in today’s parlance, – an area boy, for he joined a band of worthless men that terrorized the neighbourhood. He said that when the Ammonites started to make war against the Israelites, the very same brothers who had thrown him out came looking for him to lead the army that would fight for them. He was very angry when they came, perhaps at the time he should have killed them all, but sentiments aside, he saw this as an opportunity to not only inherit from his father’s house but to inherit from all of Israel also. It was on that premise that he agreed to fight for them if they would make him their leader; him, Jephthah, the harlot’s son.
He wanted this reversal of roles so badly, but he wasn’t sure he could defeat the Ammonites. Then he remembered One who could; One who had defeated them time and time again and that’s when He cut a deal with the One. He said, ‘Lord if you would deliver the people of Ammon into my hands then whatever comes out of the doors of my house to meet me when I return in peace from the people of Ammon shall surely be the Lord’s, and I will offer it up as a burnt offering.’ What a deal!
He told me how God kept his side of the deal; the battle was fierce and bloody but God fought valiantly for him that day and gave him victory. On his return home, guess who the ‘first whatever’ was out his door? At this point, he paused, reminiscing… His eyes filled with tears and I could see that thousands of years later, he still remembered the pain of such a bitter sweet victory.
‘Should I not have won the war? Should I have gone back to my brothers even in victory and abdicated my right to lead Israel? The ‘first whatever’ that had come to greet me was too priceless for me to keep my word, my own side of the deal. I had thought my servant would come to welcome me or perhaps my dog would race ahead of everyone out that door to greet a beloved master long gone. But it was my beautiful daughter who came out; singing and dancing, rejoicing at my victory. She was my only child and besides her, I had neither son nor daughter.’
I was almost falling off my seat trying to hear what he did then, this king of the area boys. Did he snatch her and run away back to the land of Tob. Could he have hidden her somewhere where the Lord would not find her? ‘What did you do Jephthah?’ I asked impatiently.
“I cried. Oh how I cried. But I had to give her up. ‘For I have given my word to the Lord and I cannot go back on it’. Judges 11 verse 35b.
I’m still sitting here with Jephthah speechless. There are many questions running through my mind but I am too afraid to ask them. I wanted to ask him where he found the strength of character to keep his word. I wanted to ask how he offered up his daughter to the Lord. Did God stop him at some point after testing his heart like he did for Abraham? Hmmh! I cannot speak.
I sense God here with us, Jephthah and me, as he shares his experiences and how his story was changed forever. I want to ask God also to read my heart and answer the questions I am too afraid to voice, but again I am too scared to speak. But He leaves me with a word anyway…
…Lord who shall abide in Your tabernacle? Who may dwell in Your holy hill?
…he who swears to his own hurt and does not change… (Psalm 15 verse 4b).

MY DREAM OF MANY CHILDREN

Scene 1 Act 1
I grew up in a really large family and longing for a large family of my own. I dreamt I would have 6 lovely children; 3 boys and 3 girls called (in order of birth) – Ethan, Siphra, Ezekiel (which we would shorten to Ziggy), Lael, Ebenezer and Abigail. Before you ask, these are all Hebrew names with prophetic meanings and I prayerfully picked them to match the personality of each child I had envisioned in my dreams. Mind you, this was before His Royal Husbandness (HRH) showed up.
Scene 1 Act 2
So after much prayer and considerations, here comes HRH. Along with him came sweaty palms, thumping heart and butterflies in my tummy. I was in love and very near the fulfillment of my childhood dreams; HRH, me and our lovely 6 children born one year after another. However, not very long into our relationship, he announced that he wanted just 1 child. ONE! Imagine that. One to my six! Who would I have and who wouldn’t I have? What would I do with the names? We fought over that until he finally conceded and said ‘well ok, two then’. ‘This is how dreams die’, I thought.
Scene 1 Act 3
So we had two. I juggled those names in my brain until I developed constant headaches. I would call the boy – Ethan Ezekiel Ebenezer and the girl - Siphra Lael Abigail. And amazingly and mercifully, number 3 came. But by then, even I was done. Enough! The three of them had the energies of a fully-fledged army that drained me (the commandant) every day. I didn’t want any more, I didn’t care about the names. In fact I didn’t even care if the ones I had had meaningful names or not. In my befuddled exhausted state, I resorted to calling them ‘hey u’ or ‘what’s your name sef’ or ‘who’s there’. I just wanted them to grow up quickly, be good responsible citizens and return me intact to my pre-motherhood phase (mentally if not physically); I never thought it would be this consuming having 3 not to talk of 6!
Scene 2 Act 1
So my very dear friend asks me to mind her kids for a week as she needs to travel urgently. They are aged 8 and 4, matching ages of my youngest 2. Finally, I am near that dream of long ago. I joyously take them home on Friday, planning all the things we would do over the weekend. For one week, I get to relive my childhood dream. I am even tempted to borrow my neighbour’s daughter so that the dream would be perfectly played out.
Scene 2 Act 2
It’s not working out the way I dreamt it! My bubble’s been burst. What was I expecting? I thought the perfect number would breed the perfect situation I had envisaged years ago. The new additions have only become recruits for my already energetic army. It’s the same old war times 2! More grumpiness, more whining, more fights over meals, toys and even me! More homework to check and more children to groom. I have become Supreme Court judge as I try to resolve the disputes, I face more accusations and was recently told this ‘It’s not fair, you always take sides with the girls, you don’t like boys!’ And bed times? Not a small feat – ‘Why?’, ‘I am not tired?’, ‘I can’t sleep’, ‘I am still hungry’….
The youngest 2 always find a reason to wake me up in the middle of the night; ‘I want water’ or ‘I want hot cocoa’. Last night it was the monster that was looking at them while they slept. I had to stand guard by the bed and chase the monster away!
And where is HRH in all of this? Thankfully, he’s been away otherwise if I dare complain, I would have heard it – nor be you want many children? So I am exhausted but enjoying this moment of mothering 5 young children, just one short of a dream of long ago. Tired as I am, I relish the fights, the full breakfast table, the prayer times when I get to hear everything that happened in their day and the amazing things they say to God.
Scene 2 Act 3
In a few days, my other children will be going back home. I really will miss them as I know mine will miss them too. The pace of activities will slow down somewhat but as long as I have my 3, I will remain supreme court judge and face whining and accusations (I still like girls!), I will check homework books still, I will groom little hands, heads and feet, I will be cried and jostled over and I will still be woken up in the middle of the night.
To think that I ever thought of having 6!
Final Scene & Act
Makes me think about God and His many children and our different issues….
Imagine His house!
Hmmh! I praise Him!

AYEBA NUA

Ayeba Nua simply means – Thank God. Have you thanked Him today?

Sometimes it seems like nothing is going right, but He makes ALL things beautiful in His time. Look at my Dad. In a few days he will be 80 years old. No one ever thought he would make it this far. No way, not with everything he has been through, but he’s not only made it, he is well and has defied medical reports time and again.

I remember that very first stroke more than 13 years ago and how a part of him was paralyzed; all of a sudden he couldn’t do things for himself. My once vibrant, handsome, life-loving father got lost in a body that struggled to function. It was painful to watch, but as we watched and prayed, we saw the hand of God touch him and revive him. A once paralyzed body came fully back to life. We carried on for a few years like it had never even happened.

When the next stroke came, it was devastating. This time the doctors were certain that he wouldn’t make it. Along with dealing with the stroke we dealt with Diabetes, Alzheimer’s disease, and an enlarged prostate. How does one recover from so many illnesses all at the same time?

I remember the fear each time my phone rang, or my doorbell rang. What a scary crazy moment. He went through surgery and somehow survived that against all odds. He pulled through 4 different strokes after that, each one leaving him the worse for wear than the last one did. Everyone said what a strong man he was – determined to live, but I knew God was at work in Him, to will and to do of His good pleasure. To craft out a moment where we look back and see Him at work in all of this so that we can say ‘Ayeba Nua o!’

I remember my visit early in 2009 – our conversation was stilted. He thought I was his sister, we were back in the village sharing the meal his mum prepared engaged in some sort of sibling rivalry, there I was not upsetting the cart, playing along, pretending indeed to be his sister. I left that day consoling myself saying ‘at least, he’s still alive, he may never ever remember me but he’s still alive. The doctors said that’s what Alzheimer’s does to its victims. Alzheimer’s wouldn’t let go, it was here to stay they said. There’s nothing more we can do, just keep on taking the medications.

Last year I went for another visit. He smiled as soon as he saw me. He asked for my husband by name and my first 2 children. ‘And that 3^rd one – I don’t remember him very well, how is he?’ ‘the 3^rd one is fine Daddy, his name is Mudi and he’s 3 years old now. Of course you don’t remember him well, he was just 3 months when we left’, I said and at the time you were very sick – I silently added.

And now, I look forward to celebrating his 80^th – over a decade more than the doctors predicted he would last. We were like Rhoda in the bible when we prayed, asking God for a miracle but not quite expecting it. Indeed no one can share His glory – He stretched forth His hands and healed all our diseases, while thank you seems so mundane, that’s all I have left to say. Ayeba Nua O! You have done me well.

Ayeba Nua!

How did I meet him?

It definitely wasn’t love at first sight. Physically there wasn’t anything heart-stopping about his looks. He was just there.

He wooed me steadily, tenderly and so constantly. At first I was amused and then I got a bit irritated. He was always somewhere around me, even when I didn’t want him to be. Then I noticed I could talk to him and tell him anything. I remember one time one guy I fancied broke my heart and battered my body; I cried all night and called him. He came. Tenderly gave me a bath, told me he loved me and asked why I always ran away from him. This was down time. We had to talk.

I told him I liked him, but I didn’t love him. He didn’t make my pulse race or my heart beat faster. Yes he was kind and gentle but not exciting and I needed excitement. I told him there was no chemistry, we had no connection. I loved him like a brother, not like the way one loved a ‘lover’.

He smiled. I expected anger. He gave me some food and said I would be okay and then he left. I was angry at him that night. Why didn’t he get angry? Why didn’t he yell at me or abuse me the way other men did. He always smiled and walked away. This was his weakness to my mind.

For weeks he didn’t come to see me and then I began to breathe easier. I didn’t see him hanging around my neighborhood and friends or coming round to chat. He didn’t call either and so I moved on. So I thought.

I went to parties, nightclubs, dramas, plays. Hung out with friends, fell in and out of love. Had disastrous affairs, packed days filled with exciting events, anything to keep the misery at bay. I was missing him. I thought he said he would always love me, why did he go away? Some months later, I couldn’t eat, didn’t sleep well. Functioned partially. I looked for him everywhere and couldn’t find him.

Did I realize too late that he was all the excitement I needed? I had to find him, I couldn’t live without him. In searching for him, I realized that I didn’t know where to look. My circle of friends didn’t know his. I didn’t know his family or his friends. I only knew he was someone who loved me and always sought me out. I didn’t know where to find him. I spent months crying and asking and seeking, looking for him

Then one day, I saw him. He was standing at my door. And my heart leaped, my pulse raced. Truly I was in love. He looked awesome. I wondered what he had done to himself. Physically unchanged, but beautiful beyond description.

His face was like the sun and his eyes were like the sea. He said to me, ‘I’m here my love, I never left you, but I wanted you to want me and love me as much as I love you’. His voice was like the thunder filling the empty places of my heart with the essence of him.

I ran to him and he held me. He’s been holding me since then. I have found everything I need. In Him.

A few seconds too long

I remember this one night I tried waiting for him, but it was one of those nights; busy day, heavy traffic, just generally stressful. All I really wanted was to get home, spend some time with him and then go to bed. But being Lagos, I got home so late. I wasn’t sure if he had come and left in my absence or if he was still on his way. I was just so tired, I barely managed to take a bath and fall into bed. I guess I fell asleep in seconds, because at some point I realised the persistent knocking was not from my dreams but from someone at the door. I hung in limbo for a while trying to get my befuddled mind to function.

‘Who’s at the door?’

‘It’s me. I’m here”.

It was him. He had come, but Oh, I was still so tired. It was so hard to get out of my warm bed and find something decent to wear at that time of the night – almost midnight. Would he want something to eat, to drink, would I need to be witty, entertaining? I didn’t know and was too tired to contemplate getting out of bed.

By the time I did, he had gone! Just when I had worked up the energy to change my clothes and open the door. Just when my heart had skipped several beats at the thought of his visit, his kiss, his touch… I opened the door and he wasn’t there. I had hesitated a few seconds too long…

What would I do now?

I couldn’t go back to sleep for he has awakened love and I cannot lie still.

I set out that night to look for him. I just had to find him, if only to say I was sorry hesitating a few seconds too long.  In spite of my fear of robbers, area boys and prostitutes hanging out at night, I just had to find him.

In my desperation, I begged the girls I met outside at that time of the night to help me look for him. They wanted to know what he looked like and what was so special about him that would send me searching for him in the mid of the night.  

Hmmh, where do I start, how can I describe him and how can I explain how my heart beats for him.

He is radiant; He is one in a million. No, not even in a million for there is no one like him. He is golden. He is pure and untarnished

With raven black curls tumbling across his shoulders

His eyes are soft and bright, but deep set, full of expression like wells of water

His face is rugged, His voice, his words, warm and reassuring

He is strong and muscular – fine muscles ripple beneath his skin, quiet and beautiful

He was built by a master designer, hard and smooth as ivory

He stands tall, strong and deep rooted, a rugged mountain of a man

His words are kisses, His kisses words

Everything about him delights me, thrills me through and through

He is altogether lovely

That’s my lover, that’s my Lord.

You need to find Him too, do not wait a few seconds too long.

The Antidote...

I’ve heard it said before that as you get older, memories of your past become clearer.  These days I find myself recalling bits and pieces of my childhood. I clearly remember one traumatic visit from my father’s aged uncle. He had come to live with us in the city because he needed medical care that could not be provided for him in the village. His visit was very disturbing for us; our entire life practically shut down to accommodate the needs of a very sick old man. While I selfishly thought of the inconvenience of taking care of him, my parents worried endlessly if he would live or die. When he died, it was a more painful time for all of us; we had come to appreciate his frailty, his toothless grins and all the history of our village he shared with us in the 5 short months of his stay.

Since then, I have been afraid of shame, pain, sorrow, grief and tears. Those things that we never want to happen but happen nonetheless. Still fear has not hampered these emotions from touching my life from time to time. In my short life here on earth, I’ve been touched by pain, have shared grief and felt shame. I have also cried endless tears. In trying to deal with life’s unfriendly companions (as I call them), I have come to learn about antidotes.

An antidote counteracts, it is a remedy to something disagreeable. It derives from the greek word antididonai which literally means ‘given against’. For instance, many health specialist say jogging is an antidote to nervous tension, love is an antidote to hatred. What then would be an antidote to life’s unfriendly companions? In Luke 7 from verse 36, we meet the famed woman and her alabaster box. She knew shame for the bible said she had lived a sinful life. She shed tears that day when she came before the master and then what did she do? Jesus himself commended her saying ‘she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair..... she put perfume on my feet’. She found the antidote to her pain for from then on the master declared all her sins forgiven.

Jehoshaphat in 2 Chronicle 20 also experienced fear. What courage it would have taken for him, a King, to let his subjects know that he was as afraid as they were of the impending attacks from other nations. Still his courage was not an antidote to his fear. Helplessly he confesses ‘we do not know what to do Lord, but our eyes are on you’. Again God responded to this plea assuring Jehoshaphat that the battle was the Lords. In verse 17 He said ‘Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you’.  Jehoshaphat also found the antidote to his fear.

What did they have in common? They both took a position at His feet, a posture of worship. That’s where they fought their fear and shame. That’s the antidote they found. And that antidote always counteracts shame, pain, grief, tears and fear.

In Ezekiel 36 God dictates His panacea for many of the ills we suffer. Maybe we have been looking for solutions in the wrong places, dealing emotionally with life’s unwanted companions. God’s approach is different. In verse 23 He declares “And I will sanctify My great name, which has been profaned among the nations, which you have profaned in their midst; and the nations shall know that I am the LORD,” says the Lord GOD, “when I am hallowed in you before their eyes”. This is the position to take. Again the posture of worship.

As we position ourselves, God says He will display His power in the nations. What else does Nigeria need, but a restoration of His awesome glory? And that’s not all. Here’s what He also says He will do:

Ø  I will take you from among the nations, gather you out of all countries, and bring you into your own land.

Ø  I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you shall be clean; I will cleanse you from all your filthiness and from all your idols

Ø  I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh

Ø  I will put My Spirit within you and cause you to walk in My statutes, and you will keep My judgments and do them (this one blows me away!!! Simply put, He will make it easy for me to obey Him).

Ø  I will call for the grain and multiply it, and bring no famine upon you. And I will multiply the fruit of your trees and the increase of your fields, so that you need never again bear the reproach of famine among the nations (another mind-blowing revelation, tell me how do you multiply increase?, its not bad English. It’s God’s word).

Ø  I will also enable you to dwell in the cities, and the ruins shall be rebuilt.... ‘This land that was desolate has become like the garden of Eden; and the wasted, desolate, and ruined cities are now fortified and inhabited.... I will increase their men like a flock....Then they shall know that I am the LORD.

Aah! Position yourself then. Use the Antidote. Praise.

IT IS TIME TO PROPHESY!

My father was often moody; a highly intelligent man, he had little tolerance for inanity. I became his favorite child when I discovered our shared love for books. When my siblings noticed that, they turned me into the family messenger. Whenever they wanted anything, I would be the emissary – shuttling their needs to him and bringing back his responses, his mind so to speak to them.

 Our God is not like my father – Him being God and all and my father a mere mortal prone to many inadequacies. He hasn’t singled out one favorite child who truly ‘gets’ him to communicate with the rest of us, rather if we flip this the other way, we will realize that we have sidelined him; preferring to find prophets who would tell us His mind and help us with making decisions, prophets we would send back to Him with our list of daily needs.

Today has become the day to get back in the Father’s house. God is calling you – as a father to a child. His desire is YOU! In songs of Solomon chapter 7 verse 10, the maid sings “I belong to my lover and His desire is for me”. To whom do you belong? If it is Jehovah, then His desire is for YOU. He desires that you would come into the holy place and sit with Him. He desires to speak with you and tell you His thoughts. He desires to show you His plans for the future and longs to hear your thoughts. He is hungry for your love and for your worship. What’s stopping you? What’s holding you back?

Perhaps the abundance of intermediaries in these times has made us lazy. Too lazy and too complacent to go ourselves into God’s presence. For truly He is not discriminatory. He welcomes everyone who comes. And for those of us who do go in, what do we say and seek to hear when we do go in? Recently, I was looking to Him to sort out one of my many issues. I tried some emotional prayers and some tears, begging and pleading, but to no avail. I think He took pity on me one day because it became so clear when He said ‘Prophesy!’

Prophesy??? I do not consider myself a prophet. Like Isaiah, Jeremiah and Ezekiel. These men are hard guys; the picture of ‘Spiro’ bros who go without food for months comes to my mind when I think of prophets, I dare not class myself there! But in 1 Corinthians 14, Apostle Paul encourages us all to especially desire the gift of prophesy. So I need not be a prophet to prophesy. Paul says that the one who prophesies is greater than the one who speaks in tongues, for if the trumpet does not sound a clear call, who will get ready for battle? Prophesy therefore brings clarity – a clear understanding of God’s mind. An idea of what my next steps should be.

So if like me you have been confused or perplexed and situations around you seem comatose, then prophesy. Like Ezekiel, speak to the dry bones in your life. Prophesy and cause them to live.

In chapter 37 verse 2, Ezekiel said he saw a great many bones in the valley and they were very dry. In our world today there are very many dry bones; everywhere you turn, there’s an issue. Many marriages are like the dry bones – dead, boring, uninteresting. Many businesses are like the dry bones – unprofitable, lacking insight and unsustainable. Many communities and governments are like the dry bones – tedious, hopeless with no future outlook. Should I dare mention our finances? Bleak, stagnated and constantly playing catch up, our elders would say ‘from hand to mouth’.  I cannot conclude without mentioning our spiritual lives for this one aspect dictates the others and requires prophesy more than any other. One day we are praying, worshipping, walking on water and led by the spirit of God, the next day we are reduced to tears and fear, bound by uncontrollable emotions. Dry Bones!

God says, speak to the dry bones. Don’t wait for that favorite child to come and turn your situation around. Like Ezekiel, say to YOUR dry bones ‘hear ye the word of the Lord, this is what the Lord says “I will make breadth come into you and you will come to life…and even after they came to life, prophesy some more. In verse 7 & 8, after the bones came together, God still commanded Ezekiel to prophesy because there was no force of life in them. They were powerless to function. If your dry bones have come alive, keep prophesying. Call for breadth from the 4 winds that your bones may arise and live and stand up on their feet – an exceeding great army. . It is time to prophesy!

CRY OUR BELOVED NIGERIA

I have very poignant memories of growing up in Nigeria. When I tell my children stories of my Nigeria, it seems so hard to reconcile with their Nigeria – today’s Nigeria.

What went wrong then? Did development in some way stunt our growth that at 50 years we still find it hard to decipher left from right; we keep turning around in circles grappling with under-developed infrastructure, ineffective educational systems, zero healthcare, rampart poverty and totally non-existent security systems.

In my Nigeria, I remember being fed lunch at a neighbour’s house on several occasions. These

neighbours were not my relations, but this didn’t matter in the Nigeria I remember. We were safe with neighbours. Today, children barely know their neighbours and live their lives behind highly secured homes – window bars and high fences. How can we reconcile my Nigeria with theirs?

A friend of mine recently moved houses because her 4-year old son was amazed when he saw water coming out of a kitchen tap in a friend’s house. She had lived for 4 years in an apartment with no water, resorting to fetching and storing water in buckets and drums. Recently a family lost their father and husband to domestic fire – the generator exploded in his face. I read last week about a woman whose son was shot before her by hoodlums; they had ordered him to sleep with his mother and shot him because he refused to succumb to their evil command. How about the bus load of 15 children who were kidnapped on their way to school one morning only a few weeks back. I hear Aba is now a ghost town; the once bustling and commercial trading centre of the east is a shadow of the town it used to be.

Edmund Burke’s popular quote says ‘The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing’. Today’s Nigeria triumphs in evil. Many people queried the 50^th anniversary celebration; the stupendous spending compared to the lack of growth and development in the country, the abject poverty. Who would spend N72 million on a cake – even a national one when we have tender children sleeping the streets with no food, no clothes, no home? I got several emails on the state of the country, each one proclaiming the evils that have engulfed Nigeria.

Why is evil increasingly rampant in our country? Like Edmund Burke says and I fully agree – good men do nothing. Do we not have good men in this country? Do we not have intelligent and strong men in this country? Do we not have honest leaders? Like our population, good Nigerians are plentiful in number. Our only crime which has become our greatest failing is that the good men do NOTHING!

Sorry, we do something – we complain. We gather in groups to deride and complain about our leaders. We leave those groups shaking our heads wondering what will become of Nigeria. We forward sms’ and text messages highlighting our national failings. For those of us who can afford it, we recreate our lives in the safety and security of foreign countries. Yes, that’s what we do. And when we meet in our gatherings again, we ask why we are stunted in growth. Are we cursed? Why are we captured in strangleholds of paralysis? Impotent to think, to speak and to act.

A paragraph in Alan Paton’s novel ‘cry the beloved country’ captures my thoughts as I ponder these things; Cry, the beloved country, for the unborn child that is the inheritor of our fear. Let him not love the earth too deeply. Let him not laugh too gladly when the water runs through his fingers, nor stand too silent when the setting sun makes red the veld with fire. Let him not be too moved when the birds of his land are singing, nor give too much of his heart to a mountain or a valley. For fear will rob him of all if he gives too much.

Our reticence to ‘do something’, that fear to think, to speak out and to act will be the same fear that will eventually rob us of all. It is time to arise, good men and act.

RIGHT AS RAIN

I went to the dentist today. Intense pain drove me there. I had been nursing a toothache for about 10 days, promising myself that one day, I would go to the dentist, but this morning, it was even painful to brush my teeth and rinse out with water, so off I went. The dentist was very gentle in himself, but the procedure wasn’t. I lay on that surgical chair; my mouth held open by all sorts of rods and pins and submitted myself to pain even more intense than the toothache I’d been battling with. As I lay there, I thought about the futility of life. ‘Did I speak to you this morning Lord’? ‘Did I mention that we’d be at the dentist today’? I forgot about embarrassments like what my breadth was like and whether or not I had left-over crumbs in my mouth. At this point, the fact that I was wearing my much treasured Cartier wrist watch didn’t matter, the drip of saliva and blood onto my Orna Farho suit was inconsequential. My new Cocinelle bag was probably on the floor somewhere and for once I didn’t care. The pain was that intense.

The only other time I had faced such intense pain and didn’t have another care in the world was when I was giving birth to my last child. For the first two, I had been a ‘Hebrew’ woman. The children popped out with amazing speed just when the pain was becoming blinding, but for my last… no such hurry. He took his time and had to be forced out after 24 hours of labour. I pulled out the braids in my hair and took off my clothes not caring about modesty at the time. I just wanted the pain to go away.

What kept me through the pain both times was the belief that this pain was only for a moment. It would be over soon and when that time came, I would be right as rain. I would have reason to rejoice. And so I submitted myself meekly to the ministrations of my dentist this morning, praying that he would be done soon and my life would be somewhat normal again. I also thought as I lay there, how Jesus was like this dentist. How many times we experience pain in life but refuse to submit to him because we are scared of the process; terrified of going through more pain before healing.

What other choice do we have then? Should we go on living at best a mediocre life and put away God’s eternal solution to our problems? Many times I wonder why He doesn’t just wave a magic wand and get us right as rain. Why does He take us through more pain to heal us? ‘For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all’. Hmmh, that’s why then.
I realized this morning, getting to the root of any issue is a painful process but also a way to ensure that the issue is dealt with definitively. When my dentist was done, he gave me some prescriptions and said ‘you may feel some soreness; take 1 tablet of Cataflam when you do and use this mouthwash morning and evening. You’ll soon be fine.

Just the same way, when God surgically and painfully deals with our issues, He also gives prescriptions:
‘Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it’ and ‘Do not forsake the assembling together of the saints’, also ‘pray without ceasing’. Whatever your challenge, let the Chief of all medical personnel take over, follow His prescriptions and you’ll soon be as right as rain. Look at me; I’m already planning to have lunch now.

MOVING TO PAREEEE....

Moving to Paris was a massive shock to my system; at the time, my kids were 5 years, 4 years and 4 months old. I look back many times these days and ask 'how did you survive the experience?'.

First of all, I had been on several holidays to the lovely city of Paree..., it was full of lights, culture and romance. Strolling around the Seine, visiting the Louvre, eating meals at the bistros on the curb side, jostling other fashionistas for a pass into the Hermes or Louis Vuitton store shows. My memories of Paris were light, fun, adventurous and all lovely. Until I moved!

Before moving, I had studied the language for like 3 months. My Nigerian French-speaking teacher praised me endlessly. 'Madam, you were born to speak french. See how you have just taken to the language in 3 short months, tres bien!' So with language conquered and full of confidence, we set off. Only one friend called me by the side one day to say 'it is well, ID, God will help you.'

God? help? In Paris? The adventure of my life?

The first bubble buster was at the airport when we got in - April 16th 2007 6 am. All the signs at the international airport - Charles de Gaulle were in French - and definitely not the kind of french Monsieur Matthew Okoro had tutored me on in Port Harcourt City. Qu'est-ce qui passe? I rubbed my eyes, thinking it was fatigue, maybe sleep and that clear-eyed, I would be able to read directions and proceed to immigration. Efian! Didnt happen. The words were still the same. Undettered, I simply followed the human traffic - french i couldn't read, but body sabi im road! 

The second bubble buster was at the immigrations desk when the officer rattled off in rapid-fire french; I didn't understand a word! 'Vous parlez anglais s'il vous plait?' , I quickly asked. Monsieur Matthew had hastily advised one day that I resort to that question whenever I got confused. While it worked, he didn't tell me that the confusion would be akin to deafness. I thought it was just fatigue, but realised in no time that I really did not understand the language and my inability to communicate made me 'deaf and dumb' in the beautiful city of Paree.

Every day was a bubble buster after that. I had no nanny, no driver and no cleaner. I was meant to cope one way or another and with three children all under 5 years old, it was a nightmare. Yes, I did need God to help me adjust to life in this place. 

Where were all the glamorous night lights?

Where were those lovely bistros I used to stop at for sandwiches?

What happened to the Seine?

And the designer shopping malls?

Where was culture? adventure? romance?

Did they all move away when i got there?

Instead i grappled everyday with just getting very basic things done. Getting children, up bathe, fed and off to school, looking after the baby, walking around familiarising myself with the environment. I learnt to deal with hostile shop keepers who couldn't decipher a word of my Nigerian-French accent, mean bus drivers who took off when they saw me running at full speed to catch the bus, dog poo liberally spread on the  sidewalk, laid back french workforce that responded to emergency calls 48 hours after and endless strikes that literally shut the city down you had to call the police department to find a doctor!

And as our time there grew to a close, it all slowly began to come together. It just seemed like my ears popped, or my brains connected the dots successfully. Suddenly, I could easily read the signs, I could write in French, I could hear and be heard and best of all be understood. I could communicate; and that thought gave me so much confidence and the confidence, poise.

Just as I was leaving, I had been immersed

In Paris.

The Anniversary Trip Part 6

Time to go home.

The night before our departure, we had dinner at the Villa del Palazzo; the most luxurious and prestigious restaurant in all of the resort. It lived up to its name. I can’t spell, pronounce or describe what we ate, but everything – from the ambience, the service, the music and the meal was excellent. I will always remember this night. And I can’t tell you either what I got as an anniversary present, mainly because I didn’t give anything in return (so shame dey catch me). However, when you see my boys and how dem resemble their papa, you will agree that I have also done my bit (this is where I pat myself on the back!).

By morning, hubby’s face was really swollen on one side. That headache was no joke. He really wasn’t well and something was terribly wrong. Our main priority though was to get out of the resort and in Jo’ burg so we could be sure of catching our flight at 3pm. The earliest bus from Sun City leaves at 8 am and we got on it. At the airport, we headed for the pharmacy – the face was swelling by the minute. If I post the picture, suffice it to say that I may not tell you of the 11^th anniversary!

At the pharmacy they referred us to the airport clinic; the airport clinic referred us to the main clinic in Kempton town. We left our luggage in the airport clinic and headed to the hospital. We were sent to the trauma center. This was getting seriouser and seriouser.

The only relief I got at the time were the nurses who were more interested in knowing if my hair was really mine and since it wasn’t they wanted to know how they could also wear the same style. ‘Where can we get these extensions?’ I had answered these questions time and again from entering SA. At a point, I actually feared for my safety. ‘Do you think they would shave off my hair while I slept?’ I had asked my husband on the second day when the attention got a bit much. That’s how much I feared the determination of these pear shaped South African women!

Anyway, we were very well treated at the clinic, I guess because I promised them that I would return with dread hair extensions for all of them. They were gentle and kind and nice. Even issued us a fit to fly certificate and dispatched us back to the airport. We were back in good time to check in and browse round the airport before catching our flight home. As I write, we are in the bustling city of Lagos. One child woke us up at 3 am. The others climbed over us at 5 am. The soothing effect of my 60-minute massage at the resort spa is rapidly fading away.

I’m holding on tightly to the memories and pictures, savouring every moment as normal life firmly and insistently takes over…

The countdown to the 11^th anniversary has begun. This is what life is all about!

The Anniversary Trip Part 5

I had always thought I was a very brave person. I prided myself on my nationality – Ijaw to the core with full Niger Delta bragging rights (Itsekiri mother, Urhobo husband), face fear face???

But see how one trip into the South African bush just floored me. Hubby spent the whole day teasing and laughing at me; ‘please lets go back, let’s get out of here’, became his mantra the whole day as we engaged in other safe, grounded and well researched activities. I knew I had to redeem my image. The integrity of the entire Ijaw nation was at stake here!

So the next day, we headed for water-based activities. I thought to myself, if this doesn’t shut him up nothing else will. After all I was born in the water, a native of Brass Island, swimming like a fish by the time I was 6 months…

That morning as we got ready, hubby complained of a slight headache and didn’t want to go. Of course I have been married to this man for 10 years I keep telling you. No trick in the book is new. There was no way I was letting him get off the water based activities. A whole nation’s integrity, remember?

We got to the resort’s valley of waves and me sef; my liver almost failed me when I saw the water slide! E start from mountain top!! I can’t remember how many meters of it, but I knew I would NEVER get on it. But I didn’t let him see my fear.

So when he suggested that we go on the lazy river first of all, I happily agreed. The lazy river entailed just floating around a lake in a tube. Relaxing, fun, no thumping heartbeats. Then we thought to brave the valley of waves…

I can’t describe it justifiably. It’s a man-made beach where they force the waves out at intervals and you get swept off in it like you really were at sea. Now, I have come home. Of course I dived in, got swept off in the waves, enjoying every moment of it and reminiscing of carefree childhood days spent at the beach in Twon Brass. Hubby busied himself with the pictures.

After a while, I suggested that he try the waves, jump in enjoy the fun. Efian! At that point he reminded me that he had told me he had a very bad headache (I bin think say na slight headache e talk).

‘You don’t seem to understand that my head is really banging, I can’t participate in all these activities today. Why don’t you go on the water slide and I’ll just take pictures?’

Hmmh! That slide again. I cannot let the Ijaw nation down. See how Urhobo man wan fall my hand again today? Shebi you know say ‘Urhobo nor dey carry last?’

Now how do I get out of this and still look brave?

‘Ehm, poor you my darling, this pounding head. Don’t worry about the slide. Let’s get out of the sun so you can go and lie down and I’ll take care of you’…

And that’s how we left the valley of waves. My dignity, integrity and bravery intact! Me sef don learn small Urhobo sense (as my father would say – osobo wayo).

And I’m a good wife. I did look after him oh. Bought him food, drugs, waited for him to sleep and then I took off to the water world and spent an hour on the Jet Ski…

…it’s a wonderful world!

The Anniversary Part 4

How would I explain to my children that their father was lunch for a family of hungry rhinos we met in a South African bush? What would I say to family and friends when I got back to Nigeria without him?

I know that many times in this 10 year old marriage I had been tempted to do him real physical harm, but I wasn’t ready for rhinos to rob me off the privilege. Still I wasn’t brave to attempt a rescue. Where on earth was he? And the guide had sped off! Should I go back? Should I speed off and ensure that the children have at least one parent? What would you have done???

Stop thinking those thoughts you! Bad child!!

Of course I went back. Do you know what he was doing? Following the rhinos trying to get pictures! Una see my trouble?

Honestly, if I could personally feed him to the rhinos at that point I would have!!!

Well, we did the one hour ride in the bushes we paid for, inspite of my pleas to the guide to take us back (they had sworn the ride wasn’t dangerous when we started), hubby wanted to complete it, he wanted to see the elephants, the buffalo, the tiger, the lion…

Thank God, after that we only saw gazelles (lovely harmless creatures), zebras, giraffes and they all ran away when they saw us coming. Phew… I couldn’t wait to get out of there. What was I thinking? Bush and Ijaw girl nor dey mix at all!

Can you believe that when we got back to the game reserve center that was when they told us the real stories of their bush adventures… encounters with lions, tigers, elephants and so on... They gave us a real picture of an irate elephant that pushed a car off the bush path!

Why dem nor tell us this part before we begin? From now on, I choose activities with care. Even the hot air balloon rides I nor do again, before an eagle will fly up there and snatch me away from the balloon.

The Anniversary Trip Part 3

Sun City’s motto is ‘one destination … a million thrills’. I had seen that over and over again when I researched the resort before we got there. I thought it was just one of those sales gimmicks, but there really are a million thrills here! Of the million thrills, nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine of them are dangerous adventures. So how do we cram all these thrills into our 3-day stay?

Day one we spent wondering around the resort assessing what we would actually do and what we would just gape at. I wanted to go on the hot air balloon ride, hubby wanted to do the safari tour. In my opinion, a hot air balloon ride is by far safer, don’t you think? What’s the worst that can happen? You probably fall off and the parachute thingy activates abi? And if it doesn’t then you crash to the floor break a few bones and then…

But the safari tour takes you into almost touching distance of SA’s big 5 – the Rhino, the Buffalo, the Tiger, the Lion and the Elephant. You think say na lie? I will post some pictures tomorrow.  What do you think would happen if you got into the path of a lion? Or elephant for that matter? Wait for the pictures and see.

So that’s how we settled for the quad bike ride (see profile pics), we each had our own bikes and were taken into the bush with a female guide. There I was whizzing around on a bike and finally understanding why the bike fad is gaining ground in naija. And the guide in front of me stops abruptly… ‘turn around quickly, we have to go back’

‘Why?’ I am trying to calculate the time, is our one hour up already?

‘There are 4 rhinos blocking the path and they are headed this way!’

Talk about adrenaline. My head is pounding, my hands are shaking. I can’t find the reverse stick on the bike. I can’t move and the rhinos are in my view. Crazy…. In 5 seconds I have wondered who will care for our children. When I get to heaven what would I tell Jesus that I was doing in the South African bush when I should be spreading the gospel somewhere.

‘Oh Lord, help me, forgive me, I will serve you forever, just get me out’

Then as if that was not bad enough, the guide takes off leaving us there to go check out another route. We are all alone in the bush in the direct path of a family of rhinos, as large as can be. I know I wanted some adventure, but I didn’t want to die in the adventure. Surely, this is madness!!!

I don’t know how I turned, but somehow I did turn the bike and we retreated to another part of the bush and the guide came back to say there were more rhinos behind, we were hemmed in. ‘Oh God, did you not hear my earlier cry? Please help!’

And a few minutes later, she said we could go through, they had gone back into the bush. So do we crawl by? Do we throttle past? What if the noise of the bikes brings them out of the bushes again? Aah, confusion is indeed a curse.

I just throttled full speed after the guide. When I looked back, hubby was not there…