PAIN & PRAYER

I am now convinced that pain brings great benefits… if you survive it. There are depths of prayer and personal connection to God that only deep pain can bring you to. I am convinced, not because I have experienced either great pain or a terrific prayer life, but I am convinced. I have had my fair share of grief, pain, abuse, torment and betrayal. You know the kind that reminds you that you are human and that you need God every day. Just that kind…
But as I yearn and yearn for more of Him, I’m beginning to see a frightening correlation between pain and prayer. That kind of pain that just drives you into His presence because frankly there’s no where else to go and that kind of prayer that scales thresh holds and breaks fallow grounds, the kind that changes your relationship with God forever.
As I examine my thoughts, I am more convinced by the minute. I am convinced as I struggle with my here today absent tomorrow prayer life that there are aspects of God, I will not see if I do not seek Him consistently. And my conviction just keeps growing as I walk through the bible’s hall of heroes:
• Imagine Abraham - after such intense longing for a child of his loins - strolling with the same child to sacrifice him simply because God said so. And on that say so alone he hung his destiny. So sure that his relationship with God was worth more than his desire for a 1000 sons!
• Noah maniacally building a huge warehouse of a ship on dry land no less, just because God said so. And on that say so alone, he gambled his reputation and sanity. So sure that his relationship with God was by far more enduring than the jeering and ostracization of his community!
• Moses taking off his shoes and approaching a burning bush unprotected only because God said so. And on that say so alone, he gave up his right to plan his own future but instead accepted a responsibility for God’s people so large, so seemingly unrewarding because He reckoned that seeing God face to face was a once in a lifetime untradeable opportunity.
Hebrews 11 comprehensively and impressively lists many more…
Abel, Sarah, Enoch, Isaac, Joseph, Gideon, Barack, Samson, Jephthah. Do we remember their story? Their pain? Their victory?
Do we remember David when we read any of his many hymns? Do we sense his yearning for God as he battled for his life over and over again? In one breath, David would cry in pain and in another give God praise. Check this out (from Psalm 55):
‘my heart is severely pained within me, and the terrors of death have fallen upon me. Fearfulness and trembling have come upon me and horror has overwhelmed me…
I will pray and cry aloud and He shall hear my voice’
My thoughts of Shedrach Meshach & Abednego have also changed. When I think of these 3 little boys stolen from the only home they knew and thrust into new traditions that threaten to take their faith in God away, I wonder what my own 3 little children would do in the same circumstance. Would they like these boys stand firm in the face of death? Only an experience of such intimate pain brings such tenacious clinging to God…
For some odd reason this morning, I watched the funeral of Malinda Sapp, the late wife of Pastor and Worshipper – Marvin Sapp and the experience solidifies my conviction! I have been an admirer of Pastor Marvin Sapp and an ardent collector of his music for many years. I am convinced that only a man who has gone through such deep grief can release a song like ‘Deeper’ from the album I win. I’ve been so blessed by this song as it expresses my inner yearnings and gives me hope, but again there’s such a painful story behind it.
I do not even want to go near Job! His grief and pain is palpable and still, he prayed. He had the most authentic and intimate discussions with God anyone has ever had. Deep pain took him there. But deep pain brings great rewards, if we can just hold on!
Whatever pain we go through today, tomorrow, whenever, may it cause us to run into Him, for His name is a strong and a mighty tower and when we run to Him, we are safe and we are strengthened. Of this I am definitely convinced.
I am also convinced, that when we are prayerless – when we go about our lives like God isn’t a part of who we are, we cause him pain. Deep pain. Since He is God and there is no one higher or greater than He is, to whom should He then turn? This is a conviction to be examined on another day. Think about it…